I've been getting weekly updates on the race and what not through my email...
And each time I read it, I feel so inspired and so... inclined? to want to be a part of it!
As tough and challenging and probably torturing even as it may be.

But... I really want to experience it!
If only it didn't cost so much...

So they say that money doesn't make the world go round...
But damn!
Why does everything in this world cost money???

Pain is about a feeling to let you know you're alive.

***

Stay hungry. Stay foolish.

***

Inspirational video, watch it!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3868386683388693760

Cheap yummy martinis...
Free yummy steak sandwiches...
Getting high at 7pm...
I guess that's why they call it 'Happy Hour'!
Cos you get happy!!!
Haha

Plus chocolate always makes you happy!
Yummmyy

I'm still sooo stuffed!!!

Yummy alcohol, yummy steak, yummy chocolate, yummy company, yummy conversations...
I feel pretty happy today!!!

Thanks all who made it yummy!

I wonder when I lost you.

Come out of your hiding place so I can find you again.

***

Its just a mind fuck thing.

... If you could go back to Yesterday... ...

... ...

Everything happens for a reason
Live life with no regrets.

Right?

But if only we could go back to Yesterday... ...
And stay there.

i'm riding tmr again.
let's try and remember how to have fun.
and die die don't let go of the damn handle!!!

***

i need to start work soon.
i'm broke.
and i need some direction.
i feel like life has lost all meaning.
i need to be a workaholic to fill up this empty void.

you know that life is depressing when at 2am on a fri night you are sitting by your pool,
talking about sex with your younger godbrother.
and then being reprimanded for not having a boyfriend in the longest time,
and he tells you to dress sexier to be more attractive!
and then he goes on to scold you for not knowing how to hang loose and play the fool,
and that having many activities does not necessarily mean i'm having fun.
what's worse, there is some truth in his cocked up words.
you know that life is really depressing when you feel like you're doing everything just for the sake of it without really enjoying anymore.

Confidence Wang, confidence.

If you say or think you can't do it, you've already lost.

Believe in yourself. Trust!

When you stop having fun, you stop learning.

Enjoy the ride!

Just take it as another normal practice session.

Believe. Trust. Confidence. You can do this Wang!

I'm finally done!

Its been a real roller-coaster hell of exam stresses and pressures.
Of depression and constantly trying to uplift myself.

I'm glad its over, but I feel really disappointed and sad cos I know I'm not going to do well.
Its not even a guess. Its a certainty.
I'm quite certain I will still make it and graduate... but with really bad honours or none at all.
Come September when my results are released, I'm going to be a nervous wreck all over again.

Its a new beginning now I guess.
I need to find my direction and purpose in life.
I need to find my sparks of optimism and positivity and gain confidence again.
Know what my goals are and work towards achieving them.

I'm so lost!!!

As Shinder my classmate always says: "Life and its challenges..."

I am so extremely tired of all of this exams...
The stress is killing me...
I don't think I've ever felt this low before.

Papers haven't been good...

The 3 I studied hardest for are over, and they went quite badly.
Today I had a really easy paper.
But I didn't prepare well for it. Urgh.

I went from feeling so stressed beyond control and breaking down to wanting to just give up.

I'm so tired from constantly trying to inject optimism and positivity, but I keep trying anyway.

Its just 2 more papers... 5 more days... Wed 4.30 pm it will be all over.

And then I will have to wait dreadfully for my results in September.

But well, one thing at a time.

Have faith. Dreams come true. Miracles happen.